Food Fight Injuries
by Svendances
Summary: Just a little something inspired by last nights dinner antics. I might continue it at a later date, but for ow its a one shot. Warning: Not suitable for children under the age of no sense of humour.


_I think its safe to say that dinner with my family is neve dull. We were in a restaurant last night and this sort of just came to me while my mum and I were pretending to fling stuff at each other using our cutlery. Like they say, sharing is caring, I share because I care. Also I thought I should lighten the mood abit after my last post "Story Time". This is for those who have ever started, been in, or contemplated a food fight. Enjoy!_

**Food Fight Injuries**

_Well, this is fun_, I thought, watching all the sugar high kids jump and scream around the play equipment. _Let's do this again the first chance we get. Not!_ It was Mary-Alice's birthday, and i had been invited, with a plus one (how weird is that for a kid's birthday party?), so I dragged Morelli's ass along with me. If I had to suffer so did he. This way, when I started complaining about it later, which I undoubtedly would, he would be able to say, "Now honestly, Cupcake, it can't have been that bad." My temples were throbbing from the racket the kids were making and I didn't have any Advil with me.

Finally, the clown, whom Valerie had decided would be the host of the party (smart decision if you ask me, this way she got to sit back and drink that bottle of wine that was glued to her lips at this very moment. Unfortunately for me, she was refusing to share, like that came as any surprise to me, she never did share.) got the kids all gathered up and quieted down for cake. After a rip roaring rendition of 'Happy Birthday', lead quite raucously by dearest Val, cake was distributed and icing was smeared over every smiling face. I swear the expression on the clown's face said something along the lines of "LET THE SUGAR TAKE YOU HIGHER THAN YOU HAVE EVER SOARED BEFORE!" He was even doing the Mr Burns creepy thing from The Simpsons.

All of a sudden I felt sticky hands come over my eyes, sufficiently blocking out the light. Fine by me, the light was hurting my eyes anyway, although, the lack of sight intensified the screaming, which did wonders for my headache. "Guess who!" came Mary-Alice's shrill shriek in my ear.

I cringed, shrinking away from her a little. "Um...," I feigned thought. "Santa Clause?"

She laughed her loud, high-pitched laugh, still next to my ear. "No, Aunty Stephanie, its me, Mary-Alice!" She came around in front of me and there was a fleeting moment when I noticed the cake all over her face before she kissed me. I squealed as she made contact, smearing cake all over _my _face. She smiled at me when she pulled away. "Thank you so much for coming, Aunty Stephanie!" turning to leave she quickly turned back and whispered, "Did you know you have some cake on your face." Touching her finger to my face she said, "Just there."

I made a mock shocked face and thanked her for letting me know. As she skipped off to rejoin her friends Joe was laughing at me. I threw a glare his way and grabbed a serviette of the table between us, using it to wipe the contamination from my face. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you," I seethed. This only made him laughing harder. I grabbed a plate from a passing kid, picked up a spoonful of the cake that was left and flung it at him. It hit him squarely between the eyes, effectively cutting off his laughter. As I wrapped an arm around my stomach to dull the ache that emitted from my laughter he seized a plate from yet another kid, who was sent crying to his mother. He picked up a forkful of the icing and poised himself to fire. Lowering his head to ensure the level of his trajectory was correct he pulled the tines back even further to allow for maximum impact. As he released the utensil and it flung swiftly upwards, the unthinkable happened; the prongs of the fork caught in his nostrils with such force that it ripped through the flesh. I doubled over with laughter as his high pitched girly scream of surprise slipt the air.

There was a flurry as the over protective mothers standing all around sprang into action with their first aid knowledge. One flew to the cooler to grab some ice, another to the snack table for napkins while yet another was instructing Joe not panic. It took a few deep breaths to calm myself before sitting up to assess the damage. There was blood streaming down his face and the woman next to him was dabbing at his nose with the balloon print napkin. It was hard to tell exactly how big the tear/s were due to the copious amounts of gore. I gave another burst of laughter and ducked under the table to both hide my mirth and find my cell phone. As I dialled the number by heart I tried once again to compose myself. When the woman answered on the other end there was still a hint of amusement in my voice. "Hi, this is Stephanie Plum," i thought i should start with my name so that she knew what she was dealing with. "I'm at the Chucky Cheese on 24th street. My boyfriend just ripped his nose open with a fork, there's blood everywhere; could we get an ambulance out here as soon as possible? One of us would drive him, except we've all had a bit to drink before we came, so I don't think we should."

The woman on the other end of the phone seemed to suppress a giggle as she replied, "Certainly Miss Plum, thank you for being so calm and considerate, an ambulance should be there shortly."

"Ambulance is on the way!" I shouted over the commotion before dissolving back into a fit of giggles.

_Please read and review. Your opinions mean the world to me._


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